As you survey your relationships with employees, customers, friends and relatives, it becomes apparent that there are degrees of conflict everywhere. People fight about beliefs, actions and even unrealised expectations.

It has been said that perceptions become reality in the minds of people.

Much of the metaphysical writings of the past 2,000 years as well as an increasing body of recent medical and scientific research have shed new light on belief patterns and their consequences on behaviour. I have observed a great deal of human behaviour over the past 30 years and I believe that if people are to live with balance, peace and harmony, they must look squarely at how they perceive and interpret life, and how they act upon what they see.

Each person brings unique knowledge and experience to every relationship and situation. Truth
for you is what works for you as you move down the highway of life. Truth is no respecter of opinions, fads, arrogance or ignorance. You do not manipulate truth to fit your own values or beliefs. Whether you choose to see it or not does not deny its existence.

An employee believes that he is underpaid, a customer believes he has been treated poorly, your spouse believes you don’t spend enough time with her, your child feels you are being too strict, a stockholder believes you have acted unwisely... All of these are perceptions in the minds of these people. True or false, it doesn’t matter. If they believe it, it is true for them.

Many times I have had members of an audience come up to me and comment that they really agreed with what I said even though I never said anything close to what they claimed I said. They heard what they wanted to hear because it was consistent with a dominant belief pattern in their consciousness.

In my early speaking career I hadn’t learned yet that not everyone agrees with me. My ego, my arrogance or my ignorance made me try to change their mind. I needed to learn that people will believe what they want to believe because it is comfortable for them at their current stage of personal development.

We are all on a personal development path. Some of us are further down the path than others.

Let me give you a simple example. People believed for centuries that the world was flat. Their belief didn’t alter reality. The world was round during those hundreds of years despite their attitudes to the contrary. Columbus believed the world was round but he had no proof. After he proved that the world was, in fact, round, many people still refused to change their perception or belief.

People cannot see gravity but it exists despite the fact that no one can see, touch or smell it and if someone chooses to defy or refuses to accept it, he does so at his own peril.

Walk outside and it would appear as if the earth is stationary but the truth is that it is spinning rapidly and racing through space. Reality can fool you into thinking that what appears to be true is not.

What does all of this have to do with a balanced life?

I would like you to look at people or circumstances that contribute to your stress or frustration in life. What is it about certain people that triggers your anxiety, fear or whatever emotion you feel when you are with them? Why do people disappoint you? Why does life reward or punish you?

You will tend to feel most out of balance when there is conflict in some area of your life. Your body will give you warning signs when something is out of harmony, whether it is a physical issue or an emotional one.

The key is to listen to your body to determine when there is something in your life that needs attention. Your perceptions, if they are accurate or in line with truth, will contribute to a sense of peace and inner knowledge. If they are not in line, you will experience an uncertainty that will create an inner conflict that you can choose to ignore or heed.

Article by Tim Connor, a management trainer and author of Soft Sell. For more details, e-mail karen.leong@leadershipco.com